Monday, July 13, 2009

The Iceman Cometh

I can hear the car pull up and park. The hot engine roars and is promptly turned off. I can hear the driver open his door and lug something heavy out of his truck. The man accidentally drops his cargo as he slams the trunk shut. I hear a large crash on the pavement. He grunts.

How much time do I have before he reaches the door? Locking them won't keep him out. His heavy footsteps slowly ascend the staircase. I hide in the kitchen.

I hear him at the top of the stairs followed by a slushy noise as he sets his package on the floor. The enters the lock and a loud resonant clicked throughout the entire apartment. He's here. He's in!

With a loud booming voice he directs me,

Come out, come out wherever you are...

No, no, can't we postpone this?
Get in. Start the water.
Must I?

With a scary grin,

This is for your own good. Now get in. Now.

I do as directed. I climb into the tub clothes and all. He drops the large 2o pound bag of ice next to the tub and leaves the bathroom.

I don't hear the water running.

When he returns he's glad to see that I have obeyed him. My legs are nearly submerged in cold water and rising. His creepy grin is now stretched from ear to ear. And with a baby voice he softly asks,
Are we ready for the ice now?

No.

Well too bad. Here is comes.

The man instructs me to shut the water off. As soon as I sit back the ice has landed on my lap. The cold water splashes everywhere. The large shards of ice slowly brush up against my bare legs. The man finishes pouring the entire bag in the tub and disperses the ice all around my legs.
We don't want the ice to concentrate on one area, now don't we? We want it everywhere.

Before he leaves the bathroom he sets a timer for ten minutes and says,
Remember, this is for your own good. You want this, I'm only here to help.

I shiver and shake uncontrollably. I can see every hair on my legs stand on end. My toes are freezing despite wearing wool socks. At least the man lends me a heavy sweatshirt to wear while in the tub.

He comes in with a individual carton of soy chocolate milk and tosses it into the bath.

Drink up.

How much longer do I have? When will this end?

As I slowly drink my chocolate soy milk the ice has melted but the water remains cold. The timer goes off and the man walks in with a goofy grin.

Oh, it's OK now. You can stand up. Wasn't that good? Don't frown like that, this was your idea, remember? It's good for you! You're going to thank me when your legs aren't sore tomorrow. Good job on running ten miles, Sweetie. Here's a bag for your wet clothes. Now go ahead and take a nice warm shower. I'll prepare your lunch.

Yes, it was my idea. Everything time I run any double digit amounts I take a ten minute ice bath. When I get out the blood rushes to my legs and removes all the lactic acid build up that cause soreness. My husband "helps me" in a very loving I'm getting you back kind of way.



After running 10 miles and taking the cold soak my legs were not sore the next day. Thank you, Sweetheart.

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